Can I just de-stress alittle bit?

For the past week I feel like I'm not doing a "good enough" job as being a mom. I know that's silly, but with the way Halie has been acting I have to look at myself and ask What am i doing wrong? Last night i just wanted to ball my eyes out because it was almost 10 o'clock and Halie still didn't want to go to sleep. After she finally went to sleep, I just sat down and stared for a few minutes until I felt Phil wrap his arms around me. I don't know how long he held me without saying anything, but that's what I needed. Following by his encouraging words of how great a mom I am and I'm doing a great job and that she is just going though a phase. I know Halie is only 2 1/2, but her whole life she has always been a really good kid and still is. She is starting to act like a baby again and I guess maybe it's for attention? She wants me to feed her instead of using her fork on her own, and she doesn't listen to me anymore and does what i don't tell her to do. Some of you are probably thinking, she sounds like she's a kid, but I'm just really stressed out from it all. Bed time is a disaster. Nothing works. Nothing. We have to let her "cry it out" alone in her bed until she falls to sleep. If Phil is right and this is a phase, I really hope it's over soon because it hurts me. I love Halie to death and only want to be the best mom that I can be for her. I know this is all probably nothing and I'll be looking back on this in a little while...I hope. I think I need to hear from some of you moms out there on any advice for bed time or something. We read stories and pray before bed, after that she gets silly, then will cry really loud calling my name. Ugh, so sad to hear.

My how we've grown!

Today Phil, Halie and I had the opportunity to skype with my brother Mark, whom is stationed in Japan right now. As we were talking I just kept thinking, "this is my little brother, he's really not so little anymore". I'm really proud of him and how much he is accomplishing with his life, plus how much courage he has to join the military and then be stationed in Japan. I don't know why, but sometimes it's hard for to think of him as an adult, I guess because I still view him as my little brother sometimes. The little boy who I used to play house with, and play Indians outside all day. The little boy who I would help practice playing baseball with, or the little boy who I would defend because bigger mean boys were picking on him. But also the little boy I would fight with and shed tears over afterwards, and then make up and hug each other...the kinda hug where each person acts like they don't want to hug, but deep down does. That little boy, that little brother of mine is all grown up and uses and carries a gun each day. He learns how to defend our country, and earns more and more respect each day. He's not little anymore, he's a man. A man that I can now look up to, as he once looked up to me. If I think about it, I really have 2 big brothers, both that I look up to. Both unique and different in their own ways, but I have great respect and love for each of them. My oldest brother is married and will one day start a family of his own. He too has an important job, not physical like Mark's, but uses his intelligence and mind. Matthew is someone I always admired and looked up to, whether he knows that or not. I was always jealous growing up at how smart he is, and funny! Some people might not know that, because he comes off quiet or shy, but he really is a funny person and every time i see him he makes me laugh. I was the little annoying sister who always tagged around Matthew and his older friends. I thought they were all cool and wanted hang around my big funny brother. I have to two great brothers, and I hope that they read this and know that I love them and respect them both. My prayers for them are that God keeps them save always, and that each day they grow in God. That they never forget where they came from and God's love for them. That they both were created on this Earth and in our family for a reason. That they keep Jesus as their savior and also have courage to share God's love with many because that is the most important thing. And that one day we will worship Jesus and God with our families in front of the throne in Heaven. What a glorious day that will be!

God's Beauty

Yesterday I took some time to walk down to the Harbor alone. The harbor is literally a 1 minute walk from our apartment and this was the first day I actually walked around where we live, since there has been a ton of snow and ice everywhere it has been hard to walk around here. Anyway, I carefully walked on ice to a bench and sat down to just take deep breaths and relax taking in the view. Seagulls flying through the air, the airport is across the harbor so airplanes were flying in and out of the airport (Closest I've seen a plane to the ground, kinda freaky but cool). When you look beyond the harbor, it then becomes the ocean and there were a couple boats out, more will be out once the weather warms up more. Across the harbor is also the city and it's just so neat to see the hustle and bustle, but living not even 3 miles from the city it's a little more relaxed. Sitting there seeing all the snow and being slightly chilly, I was thinking Spring is going to be so pretty here. Although I hear there isn't really a Spring here, but I guess we'll see. It's a lot different from the "Amish country" that I'm use to, but beautiful in its different ways.

Scrapbooking

Last night after I put Halie to bed I decided to take an hour to scrapbook and try to catch up a little bit. I did a page of my brother Mark (marine) in his dress blues with a few family pictures, and him with Halie, Last Easter, and a page of my dad's surprise 50th birthday party. I only have to do "Fall Fest" and Christmas and then I am done with scrapbooking the year of 2010. I can't believe I'm almost all caught up, and am very happy about that. I would be 100% caught up, but I ran out of clear page inserts to put pages in. Anyway I was thinking while I was scrapbooking that Halie will be 2 1/2 years old on the 21st this month. She is getting so big and smart!

I really love scrapbooking because I like to be creative and capture special moments that Halie can always remember. She already loves her scrapbook and knows that it is hers and all about "baby Halie". I have a scrapbook from my high school/college years, and a wedding one my Mother in law made for us. I was looking at them yesterday and was smiling the whole way through "walking down memory lane".

Anyway I was thinking about starting a Scrapbooking Tips page on this blog. But first would like to know if anyone is interested in seeing it, & getting cool (or what i think is cool! hah) ideas that you can do for your scrapbook(s). Comment below if you do, and I'll get it started!

Looove

With Valentine's Day coming around the corner I thought maybe I would write about love. Two different things I'm going to focus on in this blog post, the first one being about my family.

After God, my family is the most important thing to me. I strive to be a great wife and mom, and in doing so giving them all my love. Philip is my best friend and everyday my love grows for him. He is sensitive to my feelings, respects me and values my opinion. He knows how to make me laugh when I'm feeling blue and never hesitates to hold me in his arms when I'm upset. Through rough patches in these last 4 years he has "carried" me through them. He prays for me and I know that he loves me, not only by his words, but by his actions; He puts me first. He is a great husband and man of God, and I am truly blessed beyond measure! I love to brag about him and I hope he's not embarrassed, but he's an amazing example of a Godly and great husband!

Through our love, we created our daughter Halie. I love her so much!! She is funny, cute, smart, friendly, curious, giving, goofy and a really great kid! She loves to show off, and I love to watch her show off! I don't know what is more precious then her coming up to me randomly hugging me saying "I love you mommy", or when she sings "you are so beautiful" with me. I think about how much I love her, and then remember that God loves each of us more than that! Which brings me to the second part of this blog!

God's love! He loves us so much that he knows exactly how many hairs on our head. He sent His only son to Earth, and then watched him get brutally killed. Jesus died for our sins! He loves us so much that he died for us. God chose you and me to be created and gave us life and purpose! God has kept me safe in times where I could have died. Thankfully I didn't by the grace of God! God spared my soul and I know that he loves me more then I could ever humanly understand. God loves each and every one of us and wants an intimate deep relationship with us all. I'm not really sure how to end this blog, but Amen!

Don't worry, be Happy!

So today I have had a lot of time to get things done around the apartment. I've been picking up toys, vacuumed, did my weekly cleaning of the bathrooms, and so on. This may seem weird but when I clean its one of the only alone times I get, so during that time I get to plan in my head, think about different things and pray. I love to sing worship songs and talk to God while cleaning. Even though I don't mind cleaning and sometimes enjoy it (weird I know) singing and praying helps things get done quicker. Today though I was letting my mind wander and was thinking about the future with having people over, cooking everyone dinner and hosting. It's going to be a lot of fun for me because I love to have people over fellowship with one another and talking about Jesus. I quickly realized that the future is now and we will be having new people over any day now as we start meeting people. The first thing that came to mind is "oh my we need a kitchen table and chairs, we can't eat on the floor". Sad for thinking that I know. We sold our old table before we moved and I really need to stop worrying about little things like that! I know God will bless us with an affordable table when the time is right, and until then we could always go Japanese and sit on the floor to eat! Haha....wait that is the Japanese isn't it? Anyway, my point is and my prayer for today is to not worry about little things like not having a table, and start worrying about big things like people who don't even have food to eat at a dinner table.

Ok well share your thoughts I guess!

This is just the beginning

I haven't posted in a little while, I guess you could say I've been busy! I want to get back into a regular routine though!

So we made it to Boston! After driving 8 hours (suppose to only take 6) we got to our new apartment a little before 5pm. Our Apartment is on the second floor so we thought it might be some what of a challenge to move in. Our plan was for Phil to unload the truck moving items and bins up to the top of the stairs and me and Halie carry them down the hall to our new home. Our team work worked great, and we had everything out of the truck and into our new place within an hour and half. This was a serious workout! By the time we were done, we couldn't breathe and our bodies were so sore. I got a migraine, threw up twice and skipped dinner...but it was a great night! We did it, just the two of us with God's help. Half way through unloading the truck we both wanted to stop and give up, but then Phil said God told him "this is what it feels like to carry the cross". There is no way you can give up hearing that from God. He gave us strength and got us through it. The first night was a great feeling being in our new home, and knowing that we are following God. This journey has been scary, a little stressful and tiring, but through whatever any of us go through God is always there right beside us helping us through it. This journey is really just beginning though and I am most of all excited!

God's love has gotten me through so many hard times in my life. There is nothing that you can't get through. I know it's hard to hear that at the time when you are going through the hard time.  Big or small. Jesus is our rock, turn to him and put everything into His hands. You don't have to feel like you are alone, because you're not!